Friday, March 26, 2010

i think i'm starting to understand more and more dear..


Thing are getting better..and we're getting stronger..and so is our love..life is awesome when you have love in it..but who doesn't..i believe that every person in this world has someone who loves them and someone that they love..it doesn't always have to be a wife or a girlfriend or a boyfriend or a husband..you always have to remember that family is always there for ya..lol..parents love their kids..their kids love them too..no matter how they act..maybe they're just not used to showing it..and we also have to remember friends..not all of them..just the ones that you know you can always rely on when you really need them..thats why picking the right friends are hard..i picked the wrong group of friends once..luckily i found my dear dear and she pulled me out of there in time..and now i'm trying to change to become a better person..wait..let me rephrase that..i'm changing into a better person because of her..thank you so so much dear!!!!!!!!i'm so lucky i met you!!!the story we met so lucky lo..hahaha..well i don wan to say anymore liau..bye bye readers..i love you dear dear..mwarkz!!!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

i love you

Things have been happening in my relationship with my dearest..i dont wanna say too much..but its just getting bumpy lately..
p.s.ppl dont always get what they want..but u wil always have me..if you want me..

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Knowing

I just found out my biggest regret in my life..and the biggest fear in my life..
My biggest regret?
It's the time I lied to her about something that made me almost lose her..
My biggest fear?
It's the fear of losing her one day..

Regrets..


We all have regrets..doing things we could prevented by thinking through it properly..well..I have one regret tonight..I forgot that I used to call my ex cuppycake..and I went ahead and called my sweet heart cuppycake..and she knew I used to call my ex that..well..talk about stupidity..and of course..she got mad at me..how the he'll did I forget something like that?I just ruined the night for both of us..well..I'm suppose to be studying now but I just can't stop worrying aboutwhat she might be thinking..she asked me to leave her alone..I asked her if we could just move on from it..well..the girls reading this must think I'm a total idiot for doing it..it's not that I still have feelings for my ex or anything..well..I even forgot her pet name..I just do things without thinking it through..well..not only me..most guys do the same thing..well today's kind of a shitty day..cuz..we spent most of the day being upset and quarreling..and when we finally made up..I have to go and drop this shit..and now she's mad at me..and I feel like I wanna turn back the time and undo what I just did..we have been quarreling every weekend since we stop seeing each other on the weekends..when we're able to see each other we're not like this..when we were working together during the holidays we could see each other everyday..and we were happy..we never argued about anything..and when we stopped working..it started..we started quarreling..sometimes even when actually there's ntg to quarrel about..usually I just keep quiet and let her win..cuz I don't like to quarrel..it's just too painful for me..but if I think she's just looking at it on her side of the story and not thinking how I feel about the situation..then I answer back..and when I answer back..a lot of tears come in the picture..not just hers..when I hear her cry..I can't explain the feeling..it's like the air in your lungs get sucked out from you..and your heart aches..it like your heart gets a sqeeze and it feels ummm..it's like a sour feeling..I don't know how to discribe it..and then it hits me that I'm causing her to cry..and even if she's the one wrong..I feel like I'm the one wrong..and I start crying too because I just made the person that I love so much cry..and I start feeling guilty,sorry and all the feelings that make you say..you're right..I'm sorry..I'm the worst person ever..what the he'll is wrong with me..and when I get her to stop crying..she becomes the one to make me stop crying..we switch roles..and she starts saying sorry..and when I'm done..we just talk about the situation for awhile..and this time we think about each others feelings before saying anything..and we try to solve the problem..and by the end of it we're both tired and we go to bed..usually still feeling blue..and we wake up the next day l8..cuz we argued till l8 the night before..and we wake up still feeling the soreness inside..i guess she feels like that too..cuz I feel like that..owh..about that..sometimes..for some reason..I feel what she feels..not all the time..but most of the time..sometimes we're just texting and I'll feel a little down..and I'll ask her if she's ok..yeah..she'll say she's fine..but somehow..I can feel that she's not..and sure enough..she'll tell me that I've said something that hurt her and stuff like that..and so I'll call her..and we start talking about it..but if I react in a wrong way..it'll turn into an arguement which it usually does..and the process goes again..it's usually the same thing when we quarrel..that's if we start of sad..but if it's a quarrel cuz one of us is mad at something the other has done..usually I'm the bad guy in these situations..and during situations..I never know what's going to happen..it's always different..sometimes..we just forget about it..sometimes we don't..well..just called her..everythings fine again..it's so nice to hear her laugh again..I love her so so much..I'm going to bed..with a smile tonight..I love you dear dear..nite nite..thanks for reading guys..live life like we're dying..

Friday, March 5, 2010

I want to understand..


I want to understand my sweet heart..I thought I did..but I guess I don't..I want to though..I'm trying like he'll to..but I need her to let me in..since she started to think that I don't understand her..she stop telling me how she felt about somethings and kept everything to herself..I know that keeping things from one another is not healthy for a relationship..it can kill a relationship over time..what long term serious relationship has secrets?I don't think there's any..I would rather have an arguement about something that I don't understand than having things being kept from me..cuz when we argue..at least we solve the problem in the end..if you keep things from me..the problems will always be there slowly killing our relationship..of you're bot happy about something that I have done..say so..don't keep quiet..cuz I won't know that your not happy about it..you might thing understanding you means that I would know even if you don't say so..but in just a normal guy..I can't read minds..although I can read your body language most of the time that you're not happy or sad..but I also need no know what I did wrong or what it is that is bothering you..I love you dear..maybe I need to know you better..I would like to know you better..
I know that your full name is lim kai xuan..
I know that you have 2 sisters and 1 brother..
I know that there are 13 ppl living in your house..
I know that you like chocolates very much..
I know that you like hello kitty very much..
I know that your favourite colour is blue but you buy pink things because it's girlie..
I know that you like Mickey mouse..
I know that you like woody..
I know that you like Winnie the pooh..
I know that you like green tea..
I know that the animal that you like is dish..cuz they can't touch you..
I know that you like to be with me..
I know that your birthday is on 17-2-1993..
I know that I told you how I felt about you on 27-6-2009..
I know that we got together on 30-11-2009..
I know that you like to be called dear dear..
I know that your house is near spring and naim building..
I know that you Sony sleep much during exam week..
I know that being with me creates slot of complications in your life but you still stay with me because you love me..
I know that you lots of biscuits..
I know that you really try hard to achive what your parents expects from you..
I know you stand up for what you believe in..
I know that you will fight for what you want..
I know that you have studied wushu for 6 years..
I know that you don't like to argue..
I know that you don't like lizards..
I know that you don't like frogs..
I know that you don't like insects..
I know that you don't like some of my frens..
I know that you don't like scary movies..I know that you don like anything that is creepy..
I know that you don't like to go to places like travillion..
I know that you don't like smokers..
I know that you don't like to hurt me..
I know that you cheer upurself up by paiting your nails..
I know that you like cute things..
I know that you think you are fat..even though you are really not..
I know that you smile when I try to write things in Chinese..
I know that you that you blame yourself for a lot of things..
Over all that..I know that you love me with all your heart..
I know you love me..I really know..
Well..things happens in a relationship..no relationship is perfect..we just have to take it a day at a time..and problem by problem..
What I've learnt from this..
I've learnt that in a relationship one has to thing about the other's feelings when doing something..it may hurt the other person in the relationship..
Communication..talking about the problem is the vest way to solve it..ppl quarrel because we talk when we quarrel..it's just another more intense , loud form of communication..
Well..after everything..I still love her like crazy..xuan!!!!!!!I love you!!!!!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

hah!!!im back!!!


i like blogging..not giving it up tat easily..hehe..i guess its good news for some ppl out there..lol..im still in love..just that..yeah..hmmm..well what can i do..things happen and we just have to try to persevere through it..well..so here's the story..
once upon a time..yeah..that doesnt work..lets cut the crap..lol..
well my sweet heart's aunt who keeps interfering with our relationship found my blog..yeah i know..OMG right?lol..she saw the pictures and all that and showed my blog to my sweet heart's mom..and she flipped out on my sweet heart and told her that she couldnt go out anymore..and all that.so now we need to lay low for awhile..till everything cools down..yeah..talk about adversity..lol..well things are still going well with us..though we see eaach other less now..cuz she's not allowed to go out..so its only during tuition..which is on tuesdays..before her extra class..which is on wednesdays..fridays saturdays and sundays when she's working..but we're still going strong..not to worry..hehe..C=

Monday, January 4, 2010

School season has arrived =C

School just started and that means no more working..which also means i cant see my love for almost the whole year..it feels like a part of my heart is being ripped out of me..im so not happy now..try being in my possition..after being able to see the person you love almost everyday for almost two months..its like now you have to see that person everyday..it becomes a need for you..and then before you know it..you're counting down the last few days you will be able to see each other..and then those days end..and its back to school and not being able to see her..and for all you know..it might be for the whole year..Alot of shit can happen when you cant see the person you love for a year..its almost like a long distance relationship..just without the distance(so close but yet so far)..i just really hope we can still see each other from time to time..and maybe have a few outings together..its only been one day since i've last seen her and i already cant stop looking at her picture..the girls of my dreams can only be seen and heard..i cant feel her,smell her sweet scent or taste her lips..this is a bitch!!!all i want to do now is stare at her picture till my eyes eventually close and i eventually fall asleep..missing her and wishing to see her soon..wow..who said expressing feeling is hard for a guy..just get a blog..
Owh and i got some info that ppl actually know i have a blog..and a few ppl are reading it..leave some comments yeA?be my first..
Thanks for reading guys..nitez..missing you!!!